Z E T A
Sep 20, 202213 min
Okkkk ZC FAM!
(Part 2) is here as promised 🤍
But before we get into it I must put out the STRONG DISCLAIMER that I don’t want to see any of you Queens & Kings on JD’s page saying anything negative to her.
This all stays & ends right here.
You don’t have to go send her love but none of us should add to the hate black women already receive in society.
Let that woman live her life in peace as she continues to grow after this experience & garners her new tribe.
This blog has been a platform for me to state my peace the same way she got to on multiple platforms after her departure from the show.
So…..
Straight into what was promised….
What Jane Doe doesn’t understand just yet about life & Timmy & I’s connection.
What JD doesn’t understand or shall I say didn’t want to understand about Timmy & I’s connection is just how deeply rooted it actually is.
Our connection goes beyond physical attraction.
Beyond time.
Beyond earthly pleasures.
Timmy & I would spend time meditating & praying in the treehouse.
We were and are connected through God.
JD didn’t grasp the depths of what attracted Timmy & I to each other.
She sat in a hotel room watching Timmy & I become what others deemed the “strongest relationship” in the villa.
She knew there was a deep connection but instead of coming in & acknowledging that connection she chose to act as if it wasn’t there & that Timmy was just another lad we’d BOTH met on the same day.
She declared at the reunion after being asked by the host Sarah Hyland that she did NOT care about my feelings coming in bc that’s the name of the game.
FAIR ENOUGH JANE DOE.
I repeat FAIR ENOUGH 🗣
But then you’re not a “girls girl” as you claimed on national television to make yourself look good.
You (JD) not wanting to hear a single thing about Timmy’s feelings for me from day dot or coming to me to let me know you were interested in him & wanted to pursue him AFTER watching what we had built, proved to him that you weren’t an empathetic woman…as he craves.
If she (JD) was operating with her higher self she would’ve chosen to come in & at least ACT like she cared about my feelings knowing T would’ve actually rated that quality in her.
Timmy & I’s connection is based on qualities we each share that make us better humans & if the audience could see such then so could JD.
So for her to act so SHOCKED 😳 each time that Timmy stated he still felt strong feelings for me was utterly disrespectful & rooted in her feeling that she was somehow OBVIOUSLY better than me.
She’s never once stated what it is she brought to the table that was better for Timmy than what I brought.
I think that speaks for itself on what particularly she thought she brought that was better than me.
And it ain’t personality.
Going into any relationship I ask myself…
“What do I bring to the table?”
“How can I enhance this man’s life?”
There’s a MILLION beautiful women out there.
So these questions are imperative.
I actually wrote a blog in the past that I will repost very soon if you like titled “You’re not a boss yet so how can you attract one?”
*Let me know in the comments if you’d like me to bring this particular blog back*
It’s a blog I feel would benefit a lot of men &&& women & especially someone like JD.
But she’s not ready for that conversation.
I feel JD wanted a man like Timmy without bringing any of those same resources to the table or asking herself what she could ADD to his life instead of simply take.
Which was his affection & attention.
She failed to be the woman Timmy verbally declared he admired the most.
Someone of substance, someone warm & inviting… empathetic.
And of course a womanly figure ;)
She covered ONE base & thought all was locked & loaded.
What ELSE do you bring to the table JD?
Please enlighten us bc T & everyone else in the villa were fighting to find those things.
The specific reason why JD cannot blame me for not being able to cultivate a relationship w Timmy.
There are multiple reasons why JD can’t blame me for her not being able to cultivate a relationship w Timmy.
One being I’m his person & I can’t help but BE his person.
I didn’t make the rules 🤷🏾♀️
God did.
Two…
She stated HERSELF… “Shes pretty enough to get a man’s attention but once they get to know her & she opens up they want nothing to do w her”.
Ok so Jane…
Please tell me again how after this has become a reoccurring storyline in your love life… I’m still the culprit.
She also said she wishes the public would’ve seen the deep conversations she & Timmy had & how they bonded but then says she never got to build or bond w him bc I was always “cock blocking”.
So which one is it?
I cannot FORCE a man to do anything.
Can’t force a man to like me.
Can’t force a man to kiss me.
And certainly can’t force a man to want to be w me.
ESPECIALLY not a man like Timmy.
This tells me she didn’t get to know him AT ALL other than simply wanting to steal him from me.
She was blinded by her own self ambition.
I made it a point to kiss him behind a bush?
III??? did???
Did we watch the same clip?
I was coming from the bathroom w absolutely NO idea Timmy would be heading that same direction.
He put his arm out & pulled me in to kiss him.
The passion was burning through our bodies & we’d wanted to kiss each other for SO long.
It was literally impossible not to.
I started NONE of it.
Convince him not to pursue anything w JD?
Again…. What???
Did we listen to the same clip?
At which point did I “convince” Timmy not to pursue anything w her?
You mean when he opened his mouth to say…
“I’ve been looking at you all night. These other girls ain’t you”
Is that when I did the convincing?
Bc I’m confused.
I guess when other ppl use spells to enchant men & you use the Holy Spirit they just can’t seem to understand the sauce.
Bc sweetheart I didn’t have to do a thing for him to want me more over you.
And to add even more context as to why JD has such a skewed perception on our LI experience & comes across as a calculated manipulator to the public for me is because…
The moment prior to the sneaky link kiss…
JD saw me walk to the bathroom.
Probably about 3min (give or take) later she then saw Timmy walk out of the foyer.
Sydney & others saw her mumble to herself… “YES!!!”
As she was excited to see Timmy.
Then she saw Timmy turn the corner & head towards the bathroom where she had just minutes ago seen me go.
She sat w no one directly beside her mumbling to herself, huffing & puffing in frustration saying “FUXK” under her breath… as Sydney & another islander questioned what was wrong w her.
Like sis, you good?
Then Sydney realized “Ohh it’s bc Timmy just went to the same area Z is in” & she knew any moment that Timmy & I got alone wasn’t going to be good for her.
So for her to say I was “hiding in bushes” waiting to “convince” T not to be w her is a level of delusion I’ve never encountered before.
I know you’re ashamed or extremely embarrassed that Timmy wanted me over you but you have to take the “L” & let it go.
It seems like a double standard that when he broke your heart after a few days you were crying looking for sympathy from the OG girls. But couldn’t for the life of you understand why I was so upset or deserved to be heartbroken when you snatched him from me w NO REMORSE after 7 days w him.
That’s life!
I certainly held that “L” when T's head was turned by JD.
I kicked off at HIM.
Not her.
Then I moved on to someone who was showing me he wanted me 100% which was Jeff.
JD held on to Timmy as if her life depended on it despite him always saying he wanted me should there be a sudden recoupling.
She swore w time he would definitely want her over me.
Just a theory here guys…
How much sexier would JD have looked if she took it on the chin & gave Timmy less attention till he figured it out.
Or not said things like “your ex” in regards to me after coupling up w him.
OR come out post villa & said something like…
“At the end of the day their connection was stronger & I wish them the best”
Ppl would respect you.
You’d be in your bag.
But instead those hating qualities that you wanted to pronounce on me that I had are here front row & center in your personality.
Projection is one hell of a psychological truth.
Questions Answered
Who was my anger (“kick rocks”) directed to during the first recoupling?
LMAO 😂
The infamous “kick rocks” was actually directed to JD & JD’s brother.
I told T before he was chosen that I’m going to miss sharing a bed w him bc I knew what was about to happen.
T played it off & said “We don’t know what they’re going to do”.
So after hearing his name being called I had to let off steam & that’s what came out.
How did I stay occupied to avoid seeing them around the villa together?
I would hang out w Courtney a lot.
Bc she too was going through an emotional battle w Felipe so we were able to lean on each other during those times.
If I didn’t have her I don’t know what I would’ve done to be fair.
That’s my RIDER. My bredren. My ace.
Hahaha.
Did Timmy & I speak at all during those times?
No.
T & I didn’t speak at all during those times!
We steered clear of each other.
I had to rely on the other islanders to give me the scoop on what was going on in JD & Timmy’s relationship & how T was feeling.
Isaiah would always tell me…
“T just wants to see you trust in what you built & be the confident Z he knows you are”.
So hearing that kept my heart a bit glued to T.
This is why the sneaky link kiss we shared was so magnetic bc we hadn’t had ONE moment where we’d gotten to show each other that we still cared for each other or even chat until then.
This is another reason why I can’t for the life of me understand why JD keeps saying I gave NO space to them for them to grow.
I was mates w everyone & STILL felt extremely isolated the days they were together bc I fully left them alone & everyone else was in their couples.
This is ANOTHER reason I circled back to be the bigger person & offer JD comfort after T broke her heart.
Bc I’d been there before where I liked someone a lot but had to watch them crack on w someone else.
And I knew all the OG’s were “Team Me” so last thing I wanted is for her to feel that isolation.
Looking back I shouldn’t have given a flying Fuxk!
You really can’t be nice to evil.
They take your kindness for weakness every time.
And I'm sorry I keep calling her evil but Godly souls don't move like that, I'm sorry.
Especially after acting like the hatchet had been buried.
I feel she only became nice to me in the villa bc she knew I was THAT B in the penitentiary.
Hahahah JK.
But you get me.
I was liked.
So she finally started playing “the game”.
Only to come out on the outside to disrespect me & show her ass.
What were the islanders thoughts about the situation?
The islanders would continuously egg me on to talk to T & not give JD as much space as I was giving.
They felt I was giving them too much room to build something & that I was essentially pushing Timmy into JD’s hands.
It wasn’t until the brunch…
You lot remember the couples brunch we had?
That I had majority of the islanders come up to me after & say Timmy HATED that brunch & couldn’t take being in a couple w JD any longer.
LMAO.
After that brunch the islanders told me how miserable he was.
Saying T was asking JD questions about if she’d be willing to move from New Jersey to LA etc just to see where she was at.
To which she replied, no.
And that she wouldn’t compromise on anything & he had to carry the whole brunch by asking her most of the questions & trying to create laughter.
She was so stale & boring that he needed out.
But JD went on the record to say that she wishes the public had seen more of her & Timmy at brunch bc she was “belly laughing” the whole time.
Yeah but was Timmy?
☕️
Deb said she sat right next to them & heard not one laugh 😂
What truly made me choose Jeff during the recoupling?
I chose Jeff bc I had felt so hurt by Timmy even though he wasn’t the one to choose to be in a couple with JD.
After hearing that he had kissed JD in bed that very same night of the recoupling when JD’s brother had chosen him for her… I went into SAVAGE mode.
I’m a Gemini baby… ♊️
When I’m good… I’m great… I’m HEAVEN.
But when I’m bad… I’m trouble… I’m HELL.
MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA 😂
But who’s kidding? 👀😏
Additionally Jeff was giving me 100% of his attention & that’s exactly what I needed in that moment.
I wanted Timmy to know that I choose men who choose me.
I can like you all I want but if you don’t show that you choose me then I don’t want you.
Never have been the woman to like a boy who doesn’t like me & I never will be.
Plus I knew if Timmy & I were meant to be that we would circle right back.
I mean that’s the name of the game.
I was always upfront w Jeff that my feelings for Timmy hadn’t subsided.
But I refused to choose Timmy at a time where he hadn’t fully chosen me yet.
I KNOW he had tried to talk to me a FEW times before I recoupled w Jeff but like Timmy said in our most recent IG live…
“She wanted me to hold that L a little longer”
That I did.
Gemmy shit LOL.
HOWEVER….
Another HUGE deciding factor in choosing Jeff was to put JD’s annoying excuses of why Timmy still wanted me to rest.
She would continuously say that the only reason she & T hadn’t gotten as close as he & I had was bc she hadn’t had enough time w him.
So when it was time to recouple I said let me give these two the time she says they haven’t had.
Let me give them a chance to lay in bed together some more (which is the most intimate time you will have in that villa & not just romantically).
Let me give them time to bond in challenges.
Let me give Timmy as well the space & valid excuse of having to be w her instead of me bc they’re in a couple.
To me it felt like it was the only way for Timmy to get to really see if that’s who he wanted to be with and for JD to have her TIME.
JD & I honestly got on so well during this time.
I would even listen to her chatting about her & Timmy during this time.
But even giving her that time didn’t shut the girl up about not “having a fair shot”.
Can’t please evil.
They’re never satisfied even when you do them good.
Did I hear Jane Doe call me an insecure hater?
No.
I didn’t.
That’s what was so frustrating about watching it back.
Bc first & foremost the only time I’ve ever been "insecure" is when I made a cameo on the show...
😝
S/o Issa Rae 😌🥰
But I digress 😂
___
She had walked off as she said that, so her mic caught it loud & clear but I didn’t.
I think it’s best I didn’t catch it though bc I’m the type of girl that is definitely “team throw hands” if you can get away w it.
Hahaha.
I know that violence is never the answer but I even told the LI psychologist this during my psych evaluations… that if violence were legal or fights could happen in a private space w/o legal consequences… I’d definitely be a fighter. LMAO!
I’m from South London.
Some people just need the paws put on em one time to realize their stupidity can have consequences.
I had already verbally annihilated her w facts which is why she had to walk off in fear of being even more exposed.
So it made sense that she would say something like that under her breath.
The girl has no balls.
I never once called her out of her name.
EVER.
But hey maybe that’s the difference between 24 & 29?
Or class & no class.
Plus I don’t fight bc what’s that ‘Ye’ line?
“Too rich to fight you” ?
Yea.
How was it the next day after Timmy & I’s sneaky link kiss?
Timmy & I were both walking around extremely smug after that kiss lolll.
We both knew it was just a matter of time before we were back together so we’d walk around giving each other cute looks & private smiles.
To be completely fair I was just happy to see the boy smiling again.
I do not just say this from my POV to seem smug, I say this from a point of complete honesty…
Timmy had completely lost what makes him Timmy during his time coupled up w JD.
He did not smile.
He’d walk around w his head down.
He’d sleep a lot (Something JD would get mad at).
He just wasn’t himself!
& I cared about him so much that to see him like that broke my heart.
I thought…
If I can bring this boy back to life by making sure I have a chat w him soon about where we stand then that’s what I need to do.
Bc even the islanders wanted Timmy Tim’s back.
Things you didn’t see JD do
After that disagreement we had that resulted in JD calling me an insecure hater & storming off…
She carried on to the foyer & began swearing PROFUSELY saying she can’t stand insecure ass people & slamming doors.
It went on for about 5 min.
The producers had to settle her.
She was UNHINGED.
But had NONE of this energy towards me & in front of cameras.
She wanted to seem composed & like I was the bat shit one.
Calculated indeed she is.
She would be fuming whenever Timmy would take a nap.
She’d say “Ugh WHY is he sleeping when he should want to be spending time w me?”
Maybe bc he’s tired & needs to rest when he gets some time.
Maybe you should care about his rest & be happy he’s getting some bc we’re on the clock 24/7!!
Or MAYBE he just doesn’t want to spend time w you?
Just a thought.
Everything was about her.
She doesn’t care about what you’re going through if it’s not appeasing her.
One thing about Timmy is he’s going to do what he wants to do & needs to do for himself & I’m the same way so that’s why we get on.
She couldn’t handle my boy if she tried.
LESSON IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS:
Don’t be a person who wants something from others that you cannot provide yourself or give the equivalent of in some form.
Well ZC FAM! That’s ALL!
Obviously I could go on & tell you a whole lot more about what others said & saw & this & that but is it necessary?
Not at all.
I’ve spoken enough of my peace w/o humiliating JD or bringing anyone else under the bus 🚌
And I’m SO at peace now.
I read ALL of your comments & I wish so badly I had the time to respond to all.
Just know when I can I will & that you lot give me a joy I never knew I could have.
Till next week loves of my life 💕
Confidentially,
Baby Z