I’M AT THE EDGE!!! HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?

The levels of intimacy within celibacy…

ZC NATION!

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

Yeah… That sounds right 😏🤭

How’s it going?

How’s your Monday?

I hope better now.

I know it’s only been a week but I’ve missed ya.

Hahaha.

But anywaysss.

Before I continue on too long regarding my soppy obsession w ZC Nation & the gratitude I have for all of you being here…

How bout we go ahead & hop into the reason we’re all here.

To discuss exactly WHY…  “I’M AT THE EDGE?!”

Bc I’m so at the edge that I’ve got to talk about this lolll.

WHY AM I AT THE EDGE?

Well I’m sure judging by the title… we can all take an educated guess on what I’ve reached the edge about.

I’ve reached the edge about something that rhymes with “hex” & “Jimmy”.

But begins w an “S” & a T!

👀

Ok ok fine, I’ll spill.

It’s sex & Timmy.

Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

Lolll.

Each time I spend w this man I get closer & closer to the edge of wanting to explore MORE.

And rightfully so, you know?

But anymore exploring & I won’t be celibate anymore.

LMAO.

The connection we have is so powerful it at times scares me.

Celibacy in the past has maybe been a bit more simple bc I’ve not cared enough or trusted anyone enough to relinquish my self attained sense of “power”… if you will.

However T & I have continued to go from strength to strength in regards to our levels of intimacy.

And it just keeps growing stronger everyday.

Like what do you do when you really feel…

“This is my person”.

When your spirit isn’t scared to give more of yourself to this person.

WHAT IS INTIMACY?

I read a really simple & amazing quote about it just recently….

“Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.” - Amy Bloom

That rang SO true to me.

Think about what makes you feel safe in any friendship relationship you may have?

It’s the intimacy.

You may call that person your best mate bc why?

Bc if it came down to it you know that they know you more than anyone else in this world knows you.

Inside & out.

For who you REALLY are.

And it takes a lot to get to that point with someone.

But there’s something to say about the people we meet in this life that we feel an INSTANT connection & sense of intimacy with.

It’s like as a human you’re still a skeptic.

You know only time will truly be able to tell.

But there’s this thing in you…

This “larger than life” thing in you that’s screaming at you that you are going to be able to trust this person with all your heart.

The unseen.

The unspoken.

The unseen & the unspoken get me HIGH in life.

They’re like a drug.

And I’m an addict.

I believe it’s why I am such a spiritual being.

I live for what others may not understand yet I feel & know so deeply within me to be true.

Like the living & breathing God.

Who of course lives within us…. As us ☺️

BUT WHAT ARE THE LEVELS OF INTIMACY?

If you read around enough you can find so many articles written on the different levels of intimacy there are.

Some say there are 5 levels.

Others 6.

7.

And even 9.

However the article I read that resonated w me the most had 12.

So I’ll list them below & if you click the picture above you may read the article by Relish for further descriptions of what each level of intimacy is defined as.

The levels of intimacy that people could bond on were:

Sexual… Emotional… Intellectual… Aesthetic… Creative… Recreational… Work… Crisis… Commitment… Conflict… Communication & of course… Spiritual.

And as I read through these I began to realize that T & I have hit all but one (crisis) of these levels of intimacy in such a short period of time.

Which made me understand just WHY I feel so at the edge so soon in this relationship.

Lol.

The biggest way I bond w someone intimately is through spirituality.

If I can bond w you in regards to the Almighty then it’s as if everything else will fall in place.

Because if you believe in a higher power then you understand the importance of everything else.

And T & I’s spiritual connection is through the roof.

Our emotional intimacy is on point.

Our intellectual intimacy is unmatched.

Our aesthetic intimacy is definitely there.

Our creative intimacy couldn’t be better.

Our recreational intimacy exists bc we fancy a lot of the same things.

Our work intimacy has caught a beautiful rhythm.

Our crisis intimacy we’ve yet to go through yet but have spoken deeply about crisis in the past that we’d have died to be there for each other for.

Our commitment intimacy is at the forefront of our goals.

Our conflict intimacy has been tested more than once & we’ve bounced back tremendously with apologies and the ability to accept when either of us is wrong or needs to work on something.

Lastly, our communication intimacy has been STRONG since day dot we entered the villa & it remains that way.

Now….

When it comes to our sexual intimacy, I can honestly say it’s through the roof!

And the gag is we are both still celibate.

WHAT DOES MY CELIBACY INCLUDE?

Although this is quite a private topic, I do feel a sense of comfort with chatting to ZC Nation about it.

A lot of people know that my blog is a business.

But I always remind people that I’m in the business of being vulnerable.

The vulnerability I choose to share, I share because I know I can help others.

Especially since the vulnerability others have chosen to share w me has also helped me.

So what does my celibacy include?

Well…

As of now…

Everything is off the table.

Meaning no sex in ANY way.

No heavy petting.

No oral.

But you lot have all seen the way T kisses me.

This clip that you may have seen on IG or any other social media platform is the minimum of how our kisses go down.

This is w/o music to masking the sounds.

A raw edit 🙆🏾‍♀️

Sorry if it's a little cringe but...

We are much worse when there's no camera around.

LMAO!

You see the passion.

You’re not strangers to our levels of passion.

And I have to ask myself…

Is the passion so strong bc we’re NOT engaging in sexual activity?

My educated guess is…

YES!

1000%

Our souls are yearning to connect physically the way we’ve connected in every other way possible.

All of the intimacy we’ve built & continue to build is building a level of passion for each other that is SO deep… neither of us know how much longer we’ll be able to last.

🤣

However…

T & I are sooooo similar that we’re both getting off on the high celibacy is bringing us.

Of course we could choose to engage in non penetrative sex & well….

We might.

We both may fall of the cliff soon.

🙆🏾‍♀️🤣

But how far is too far???

Bc once you open the door for non penetrative…

What’s stopping you from penetrative?

When you’re THAT connected to a person.

You know?

We definitely plan on giving each other more time to build on intimacy since we are thoroughly enjoying the high of connecting this way.

But this blog is to say…

Don’t get it twisted.

I’M AT THE EDGE 🗣🗣🗣🗣🙆🏾‍♀️

And it’s nice to be real & chat to ZC about this bc the trying part of celibacy isn’t really spoken about much from those who have been walking the walk for what feels like ages.

I think the most beautiful part about celibacy is getting to know your person outside of just sexual activity which aids you in being able to distinguish between what is physical attraction & what is an emotional attraction.

It also builds a strong level of trust.

You get to fully trust that this person is getting to know the depths of your soul and respects you enough to wait.

Thankfully with T we have been able to distinguish this very early on.

Sex isn’t the only way to be intimate.

But once you’ve hit many levels of intimacy your soul begins to crave it indefinitely.

BOTTOM LINE

We have chosen to stay high off the levels of intimacy we are continuing to reach bc we believe there are pinnacles we have yet to reach.

However we are not bound by any rules & with how connected we both are to each other…

Not sure how much longer we will last.

But we’re both very strong willed individuals.

So we’ll see.

👀

What are your thoughts ZC Nation?

I know a lot of you opened up to me about your journeys w celibacy.

You all had similar yet different reasons.

What are your thoughts on non penetrative acts in celibacy?

How far is too far?

Idk chat to me 🤍☺️

Ps: Thank you to ALL of you for not leaking the exclusive information I share w you on here to the greater public. But feel free if a quote of mine inspires you to share that singular quote 🙏🏾

Miss you already.

Till next week xx

Confidentially,

Baby Z