IS THAT A TARGET ON MY BACK?

You know when you just have a feeling about someone or something but you don’t have the physical evidence to prove it?

But then one day God gives you a fat hint.

But you still can’t jump too quickly to a conclusion.

Yeah…

This whole blog is about that.

It’s a lot of tea.

So get your popcorn ready, get your coffee, your fav blanket, whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote bc I’m about to spill the contents of my heart in here right now.

& idc who gets hit in the crossfire.

🙃

A hell of an intro huh ZC NATION?

Lol.

Well greetings to you first!!!

How rude of me.

I always greet you first.

So you can see how they’ve got me acting out of character already.

Haha.

Jk.

But like…

Not.

Bc I’m coming in hot.

🥵

Preface

I was a bit reluctant to spill how I’m feeling since certain things should be handled internally.

But one of the women I’m speaking on has chosen not to respond or answer my phone call so there's clearly no respect there.

🤷🏾‍♀️

ZC has always been & will always be my outlet.

Yes there are some ppl who come on here simply for  a one time login of tea time.

But those ppl don’t always know when the tea will be hot.

& secondly…

I write in here for those who I know have my back.

& who read almost everything I post.

Therefore have a deep understanding of who I am.

& do not just take the headline & run with it.

Those who will be grandfathered in within a few months time.

Or are excited to begin their journey towards becoming grandfathered in here at ZC!

That’s who I write for.

& that’s how we’re going to keep it.

Bc I can’t worry about the rest.

🤍

Girllll…..

Not sure how many of you watched Sereniti’s podcast with Murad Merali that came out some few days ago.

But…

She got to discuss how things went down on my podcast from her perspective, her relationship as it stands today with the other cast members & why she wasn’t on part 2.

I didn’t get to watch it right when it came out bc I’ve been quite busy lately.

Until…

I got a text from one of the other ladies who was on my podcast saying that she & the rest of the cast feel as though I backstabbed them by setting up the podcast with Murad for Sereniti.

Since I had no hand in coordinating their podcast, I was shocked by the message.

To which I wrote back… “I had no hand in coordinating that podcast.”

Bc I didn’t.

But that even if I DID have a hand in it, what would be the problem w that?

Isn’t Sereniti allowed to tell her story as well?

Sereniti even came for me in the podcast in some regard.

🤷🏾‍♀️

The only difference is I can stomach what she said about me.

A. She’s entitled to her opinion.

B. I wasn’t hit so I don’t need to holler.

C. If I did have an issue with what she said I’d take it up with her!

The story behind…

Murad had asked me which USA islanders I felt he should interview long before I even filmed part 1 of my podcast.

I told him definitely Sereniti bc the girl is comedy, she isn’t afraid to speak her truth & she is just pure entertainment.

Let’s keep it a buck.

I think she has a great personality for TV & will really prosper in the TV world should she choose to hone in on it.

Due to this Murad had tunnel vision for her once again PRE my podcast even happening.

After my podcast…

It is clear that Sereniti & I had our own set of qualms.

Mostly bc of what had transpired between she & the other cast members.

She was upset I didn’t let her come on pod part 2.

& I became upset that she asked me to throw away & not air my whole podcast part 1 simply bc I didn’t let her come on part 2.

Felt malicious & with ill intent to me for her to not ask but tell me not to.

Anyone who chooses to mess with my business & my money I have a problem with.

Point blank.

Sorry.

Can’t sugarcoat that.

& anyone can chastise, persecute or sue me for feeling that way if they feel otherwise.

Idc.

Majority rules always.

& there wouldn’t have been a podcast part 2 if she had come.

She was going to sit there silently (as she mentioned on Murads pod) & the whole pod would’ve been extremely awkward.

& for what?

Just for the sake of being there?

There was too much tension & the girls energy wouldn’t have been right with her there.

Additionally…

This is something I will answer on my next YouTube Q&A.

But the reason Courtney “snapped” at Sereniti at the end of the VG4L podcast part 1 asking her to wrap it up is because we only had about 10 mins left to film & the podcast engineer gave us warning that we were running out of time.

We had not decided at that moment yet that we would be doing a part 2.

& by that time Sereniti had already spoken on her relationships & chimed in regarding other people’s stories (rightfully) but Courtney had not yet spoken once on her relationships in the Villa.

So I can understand Courtney hoping that Sereniti would hang up chiming in for those last 10mins so we could finish her (Courtney) part & wrap the whole thing up.

Bc we were pressed for time.

That is something that needs to be cleared up.

With all that being said…

I seem to now have a target on my back from each side for not being the one who had ANY of the problems with anyone.

Lol.

AINT it funny how…

If you come out of the gun fight clean, then all of a sudden you are the target.

🎯

Sereniti was upset that I didn’t let her come to pod part 2 therefore she made snide comments that the only reason I’m liked is because I’m British.

& also mentioned that she needs to get a British accent so that she can be the black girl who is liked.

Which by the way I find utterly disrespectful.

Bc to say that is to completely revoke what makes certain ppl like me & what makes me… me.

& leaves it to just me simply being British.

Taking absolutely no accountability for the behavioural choices she makes or made that may rub others the wrong way.

She mentioned on the Murad podcast that she hates that she plays devils advocate for me.

Um…

What exactly does she need to play devils advocate for me for?

What did I do?

I am friends with her, Courtney, Sydney, Mady &  Deb.

If a problem arises between any one of them I am not going to choose sides.

Black, white, Hispanic, Asian, green or blue.

I am going to hear their sides out & try to advocate for them to mend their issues.

In the interest of business, again as I’ve said already…

Majority rules.

But in friendship I was as there for her as I could be.

& now that she’s done a pod with Murad…

A specific cast member is upset with me for “setting it up” for her.

When for starters, I didn’t.

& secondly I wasn’t the one who put the words in her mouth.

Nor was I the one to give Murad Sereniti’s info to set up times, talking points… xyz.

Murad wanted to interview multiple USA islanders but due to the fall out with the girls he felt Sereniti had the best story to tell.

He’s an interviewer.

That’s what he does.

I cannot control who he chooses to interview & cannot stop him from interviewing who he feels actually has something to say or a story to tell.

So Nonetheless…

Here I am.

Backlash from Sereniti & the black community that I don’t support black women.

Then backlash from my white friends bc I “set up” an interview for the black woman (Sereniti) to get her side of the story out.

LMAO.

I just have a question…

When did I become the target?

Bc it doesn’t seem like this was what broke the camels back.

It seems to me like ppl have wanted me in a position of villain.

& this was the perfect excuse.

I can’t blame them but I sure am disappointed.

After explaining to the other cast members that I did not have anything to do with setting up the pod, one messaged back to say “Thanks for clearing it up”.

But I’ve heard nothing else from the rest.

Do I think it will all blow over & everyone is just in their feelings?

100%

Will I regret spilling so much tea at tea time over an internal situation.

Probably.

Lol.

But I just don’t know anything else than to write about my experiences, talk about what I’m learning from them in real time & to live out loud.

Which in this instance I’ve learned that God let’s things happen for us to grow from them & understand how the world works.

Of course I wrote in one of my past blogs that you cannot please everyone.

& I think with this blog I’m learning that the truth is that regardless of what you do ppl will always find a reason to blame you or dislike you.

Especially when you’re seemingly liked by many.

This situation has kicked my comfort with being disliked/critiqued into full drive.

Of course it doesn’t feel the best.

But…

Those who please generally cannot please profoundly.

So that’s all folks.

& no I have no issues with any of the women.

It’s all love as it always has been for me & always will be.

When we do hash it out (if we do) I’ll be back to tell you about that too.

But I'm side eyeing the person who sent me that text regardless after this.

Cuz like what?

Overall

I do not feel like I’ve done anything wrong in this situation on both sides.

Setting up Sereniti (though I didn’t, but if I did) for a pod to speak her truth when she was the one isolated in a way isn’t wrong.

It’s fair.

& I can understand the girls feeling how they felt but I have been really taken back by the term “backstab” in such a situation.

I really hate bringing race & age into the conversation but damn.

It’s always a part of the problem isn’t it?

Regardless…

I feel like I’m 30 years old now dealing with too young of women & it’s not even on them.

It’s on me to know better & “understand” why they think & feel the way that they do.

Feel me?

I do plan on talking to all of them about my sentiments if they want to know but honestly…

Why?

Lol.

Will it make a difference?

What do I say?

Let me log off now.

Just to lyk I wouldn’t even be here if I didn’t feel disrespected & if it had been handled internally.

As in if the person who sent me the backstabbed text had texted back when I responded or answered my call when I reached out.

🙃

Anyways…

Tell me how you feel in the comments ZC.

I know you’ll call me out when I’m wrong.

I actually welcome it from YOU.

Love you.

Confidentially,

Baby Z