Z E T A

Feb 20, 20237 min

RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME?

ZC NATION

OMG.

Yessssssssss!

I have to start this blog with E N E R G Y!

Why?

Bc this past week I was very high on life.

& it’s only right to bring you some of that energy.

It’s ONLY right.

I hope you’re all doing well & on a positive note.

But if not…

I am sending you the utmost love & healing energy.

I love you!

I’m sure you’re wondering what made me so high on life this past week?

The only explanation is the Holy Spirit.

I was just moving in my light guys.

I was clear minded.

My mind felt sharp.

I was motivated.

I was inspired.

I was able to manage my time correctly.

I was patient with myself but also pushed myself.

I had a peaceful rhythm with everything I chose to do or had to do.

It was AMAZING!

And I only have God to thank for that.

Truly.

Bc when you can’t find that productive rhythm…

It doesn’t matter how many positive quotes you hear, you just can’t shake the funk sometimes.

Am I right?

Doesn’t mean we stop trying.

But it is certainly not easy to keep trying.

All I could remember this week was:

Life is hard any way you spin it.

It’s hard to be poor & it’s hard to put in the work to become rich (In more ways than financially)

But which one do you want to be?

🤷🏾‍♀️

I’m thankful for anytime I reach this place of inspiration.

It’s a beautiful thing.

I can only thank God almighty.

And pray that I pass this energy on to you as well!

So now that we’ve started on this positive note…

Let’s journey into a love story from my past.

My 🤍 Life

Pre island 🏝

Oh yes!

I’ve wanted to speak to you about my love life before the island.

Specifically one guy.

I always felt this would be something I wrote about in my autobiography & of course I will elaborate there.

However there’s one particular love story of mine (or lack there of) that will exist in my heart forever!

Why not begin sharing the story right here on ZC!

I’m not going to lie I feel very vulnerable sharing this.

I just feel like I want to share it in case anyone else has ever been through something similar.

Questioning if there is such thing as “Right person wrong time”

You know?

Well…

You won’t fully know until I explain what I’m on about.

Lol!

So let me get to chatting.

The Story

At the end of 2020 I began having strong feelings that I wanted someone to do life with.

That feeling where you realize:

“Damn! I think I really am ready to share these life experiences with someone I love & care about deeply bc life is too short”

I thought...

I'd really love to have my husband meet my mum before she does her time here on Earth.

Of course I don't know when that will be.

But it just made me put into perspective that she can leave me any day & if that's the case then I would love to have a hubby who knew her pre departure.

That was a thought that brought me some sort of comfort.

Little side note:

I remember expressing this to "you know who" on the island & he totally acted like he fully understood me & felt the same.

Looking back I now know he was just pretending to agree & actually scared shitless.

That wasn't supposed to be part of the "business plan".

🤣

Anyway...

The feeling was so strong that I decided to make sure I became spiritually aligned with that want.

So what did I do?

I began praying intentionally.

Specific prayers given to me by my spiritual father.

& I began fasting.

So by May 2021 I had been praying & fasting for 6 months.

Mind you…

I wasn’t looking for love but my heart was so open to it finding me.

I truly believe that is the KEY.

To never go looking for love.

It’ll find you.

Alexa play:

Sonny - “Let Love” 🎶

I think where I went wrong with LI was that I went in looking for love.

I was desperate to connect with new souls & a little too optimistic about finding a potential life partner.

Not to say that's a bad thing because you should go into LI wanting a connection.

But it's best to go in & simply enjoy the experience.

Have no expectations.

Nonetheless.

Back to my story...

I spent most of the 6 months focused on becoming the person I wanted to enter my life.

One thing I believe in more than anything is matching energy.

If you want a generous man, you need to be a generous woman.

If you want a man who communicates well you need to communicate well.

If you want a man who is patient, you need to be patient.

Or at the VERY least be focused on becoming that person & share grace for whoever doesn’t have that which you yourself haven’t mastered yet.

I believe we are magnets & we attract the energy we put out.

So although I wanted love...

I was more focused on preparing myself for that love when it came to me.

As opposed to going out & finding it.

Does that make sense?

Then all of a sudden on one really special day...

In 2021.

My Birthday

🎉

I’m moving in my queen energy.

I’m feeling H I G H off life!

My self care is on a hundred thousand trillion.

My connection with God is the strongest it’s ever been.

I’m vegetarian 🌱

So my energy levels are quite high.

I’m just in my element guys.

I’m not LOOKING for love.

I am love.

I’m in love with me & everyone around me.

Then BOOM.

There he is.

😳

I’m having the best birthday with my two closest friends.

We rent a hotel room at “The Sixty” Beverly Hills.

We head to dinner at “Javier’s” Century City.

We’re standing outside waiting for our table.

& then BOOM!

💥

There he is guys.

🤯

We shall call him J!

(Bc that’s what his name starts with anyway ;)

He walks up to me as I’m snapping a selfie.

& let me tell you…

He is C H A R M I N G!

I was so gobsmacked by his energy & presence.

As I type this right now I have chills & a tear is falling across my left cheek.

That’s the effect this man has over me & will always have over me.

I’m sure of it.

Now…

Although I feel all these things now & felt things then, I was very reserved & calm upon meeting him.

I wasn’t thirsty at all.

Despite how amazing it felt to be meeting him.

What brings this all home is that that morning I had been getting my hair done for the later festivities & my pastor told me on a FaceTime call:

“You’re gonna get a gift from God today. You’re going to meet someone”.

I was optimistic but not fixated on it.

So when J came up, it was a miraculous manifestation of a phenomenal prophecy.

He ended up taking me out after dinner.

After my birthday ended I continued to chat with him here & there.

But I was still so reserved.

I don't know why.

Something about him made me nervous/giddy.

Lol.

Which is how I want to feel.

But I didn't push to see him.

I thought I had all the time in the world.

He had a very successful podcast that I would listen to & give him my opinion on each time it dropped.

(I wish I could share it with you guys so you can understand the reason I was so smitten 🥰 lol)

I began falling in deep love with him.

But my downfall was playing too "hard to get".

It was my own fear that I needed to level up a bit more before really getting involved with him.

Little did I know a deadly circumstance was lurking that would rob me of the time needed to progress our relationship.

Time is of the essence.

So How Did it End?

Unfortunately a vicious chain of events took place in July 2021 that forced me to head back to London for recovery.

I stayed in contact with J.

But we lost A LOT of time.

He was dating at the time of course.

Getting to know a few women.

& by the time I was to head back to LA he was fully committed to someone else.

I didn’t expect him to wait for me.

I knew a man like him wouldn’t be around for long.

During this time I felt like I was racing time.

I wanted to be back in LA so badly but I needed to recover so I couldn’t.

I ended up "losing" him.

I put the word "losing" in quotations bc you obviously cannot lose someone you never had.

Right?

But that's what it felt like.

I had lost the potential of someone I really believed was sent to me by God.

Multiple prophetic dreams God gave me in sequence painting a picture of this relationship.

When I "lost" him I knew it.

Bc I dreamt it.

& my last dream of him was so real that I woke up feeling like he was in my room.

Immediately the song "Dreaming with a broken heart" by John Mayer played on my phone.

I'll never know how.

Everything for a reason?

I guess so.

Had that love manifested I wouldn't have made it onto LI to meet you fine people.

☺️

Of course sometimes I think I'd give it all up for a love like that.

But who knows what would've happened.

What Did I Learn?

I learned that people truly come in your life for a reason.

Whether you understand why or not.

J came & served a STRONG purpose in my life.

Though we never got the chance to culminate a romantic relationship…

The feelings that he awoke in me, I’ll never forget.

Bc of him marriage became a not so scary thought.

Bc of him having a child became a not so scary thought.

Bc of him I KNOW that exactly what I desire is out there & can magnetically connect to me when the time is right.