SHE’S PUSHING 40
- Z E T A
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
hiiiiii ZC nation…
what it is? what it do?
😏
don’t ask me why that’s been my new way
to greet you lately it just feels right
I’m in my 2003 feels.
Like “uhhhh I like it like that she working that back idk how to act slow motion for me slow motion for me move it slow motion for mehhh” 🎶
Just posted a clip of me vibing to this tune on my tiktok.
Linked for your entertainment ofc.
HAHAHA.
There’s a lot of things I’ve been missing about the 2000’s.
pre 2020 in general.
I mean what a time.
Not to say that our best days are behind us because history always repeats itself & there’s so still so much to see but I must say that it was a time.
No?
Also is it just me? …
or was aging more respected “back in the day?”
Growing Up
In my teenage years all I remember my elders saying was:
“I’m 10 years her senior”
“That lady is not my age mate”
“Does she/he know how old I am?”
W pride.
It was always used as a way of asserting dominance & demanding respect.
To age means you deserved respect.
Maybe this is just an African tradition.
Like how being thicker in body composition symbolizes having money and being able to feed oneself whereas in Western tradition being thin is glorified and a symbol of being able to take care of yourself by maintaining your weight
there are differences, you know?
Perhaps aging in Africa is something to be proud of where is in the west youth is your prime & your superpower.
Aging should come with disgrace bc the best of life is behind you.
You might as well die young bc if you stay here long enough to age past 40 there’s simply no other point.
🙃
I mean that’s how it comes across.
At least it sounds as mad as it is when you say it out loud.
To anyone who has sense that is.
🤣
Which brings me to…
Gen Z
oh yes.
The big Z.
The greater portion of Gen Z has a fixation on not aging.
I think a lot of them want to die young & never experience aging.
but what do I know?
I’m an old 32-year-old hag.
by their standards.
😏
I play, I play.
but truth is
I’ve always myself had a fascination with aging ever since I was a wee little tot.
oh & the patriarchy.
Since ultimately it decides for the collective when you just don’t matter as a woman anymore.
but I’ve never felt as beautiful, intelligent, strong & as full of life as I do today.
I remember being 23 - 26 & reminding myself to enjoy being that age & making a dramatic acknowledgment of how special it was to be it & that I needed to feel its “benefits” fully.
Not because I inherently felt that way but knowing that society would.
I will add though that I do deeply believe the fear of aging has less to do with simply growing older & more to do with getting closer to death.
A Night Out On The Town
I recently was speaking to a girlfriend who told me about her weekend out with some ball players and some people in the industry.
A simple dinner party accompanied by a night out.
& it was fun.
and I thought to myself wow I miss that.
I did that a lot in my 20s but stopped when I felt like I needed to focus more on my career and my passions because I didn’t wanna wake up “PUSHING 40” 😱😱😱 without having spent time on a career.
I had always told myself focus more on your career and then when you get that, you will have all the time in the world to “party”
Which mind you,
I still “party”.
but focus on building something for yourself so you’re not starting that journey later on in life when you want children etc.
But then it dawned on me…
OMG.
What if I get my “party” mojo back nearing my 40’s & want to enjoy some of those things I did in my 20s…
Will I then have to hear…
“OMG.
She’s pushing 40”
when I do them!!!!??????
So…
Full transparent & candid moment here:
I told her that I need to get back to it/enjoy some of those moments asap whilst I’m still considered moderately young to the general public because if I don’t I will have to risk hearing…
“she’s pushing 40. Why is she still partying or in the club?”
& right after i said it i thought…
Damn Z!
That’s really sad.
Not the concept itself but that I even for one second considered WTF the public will have to say about my decisions at any age.
That’s some young ish.
Caring.
We’re all on completely different journeys hitting different goals at different ages.
& WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT?
I mean…
Can you show your midriff in your 50’s?
what are the rules?
Granted sure…
Your body produces less collagen as you age and by that time you may even be tired of showing your midriff or have different feelings than you had in your youth.
but what if your body is still producing great collagen and your tummy is tight & in shape?
or here’s a concept:
what if you simply just want to show your midriff?
(in shape or not)
What if you lived a completely different life and became liberated regarding how you feel about your body at an older age?
Does that mean you can’t do things backwards or in your own timing?
I understand more than anyone that no matter what there is a timeline that this Earth has and a lot of it makes sense but this life is not a one size fits all.
Unfortunately if you don’t “fit all” you will have to deal with the repercussions of the public voice.
But believing that voice is ultimately your choice.
I’ve said it once before & I’ll say it again.
Time is not real.
It exists for us to meet at the coffee shop at the right time or make our flights, a social construct.
Time in the eyes of God is timeless.
Exist on your own timeline.
You can recreate the past or visit the future at any point in time & that timeline will be just as real as 6PM July 29, 2070 as it was July 29 1945.
The only difference is it’ll be yours.
My New Bible Series
🆕
Soooo…
In the coming weeks I plan on starting a Bible series.
This came to me as I began praying about being more in alignment with myself & my Father.
I saw someone on Instagram post about Genesis when answering someone else’s question about eating meat.
They answered with a scripture in Genesis to which the person they were commenting back to asked another question, and they responded with another scripture in Genesis that seemed to elaborate on the previous scripture but with more depth that could be seen contradictory in a way
It was a scripture I hadn’t read & it made me think.
🤔
Perhaps I start reading the Bible from its inception.
Very small chapters & then discuss them.
& I mean VERY small chapters.
I think the size and depth of the Bible deters people from being curious about what’s in it.
We’re curious about so many books.
why not the Bible.
📕 📚
It also seems to have so many “contradictions” or things that simply don’t make sense to us because of its depth.
& I’m just curious.
What if I tie myself to the bench by including other people in the conversation?
As I will be going through this journey to read it, I figured why not bring ZC in on the chat.
Consistency has always been difficult for me even when it comes to writing or content, I have creators block, which is very natural, but with this I feel I will always have something to read and to dig into and to share a conversation about.
You don’t have to believe in Jesus to take interest in the discussions.
There will be a lot of modern discussion.
& I’m not one to ever mark God in any way but there will be a lots of laughter.
hey,
I don’t have the answers 🤷🏾♀️
but like any book why not discuss.
So yeah…
I’ll talk more about it once I myself put together the pieces.
but that’s all my angels.
In a bit.
Confidentially,
Baby Z
I would read your thoughts on the Bible. And speaking as a 52 year old woman, I'm way past 40 and my life is still being discovered. Life is a series of love and differences you learn on your adult era. At 32, I did a lot of changing. Sending love and light, Zeta always